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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23083258">Growing pains</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoevehjerteLFL/pseuds/LoevehjerteLFL'>LoevehjerteLFL</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ciri x Avallac'h, Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, F/M, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:14:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,259</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23083258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoevehjerteLFL/pseuds/LoevehjerteLFL</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As Ciri tries to escape the last of her tormentors, she is given aid by Avallac'h, who thinks he is the only one still capable of staying on mission to save his people. Ciri might be his only hope - and then some!</p><p>There are major spoilers for both the books and Witcher 3.</p><p>The Ciri x Avallac'h-ship does not have enough stories to represent them, and so I thought I'd give it a humble try as my first story after my decade-long hiatus from fanfiction.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Avallac'h | Crevan Espane aep Caomhan Macha/Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Goodbye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h2>Chapter 1 - Goodbye</h2><p>As soon as Ciri had teleported away from him on the pier, he felt his heart sinking. He lowered his gaze from the fleets before him and shook the feeling off before he started the trek to the cliffs southeast of the Marlin Coast of Undvik. Cirilla had gone to foil Caranthir and destroy his frost-spell. He knew he could not stop her from leaving and he knew she had to go, but it still darkened his thoughts to think of her alone on the frozen water, battling the Aen Elle and the hounds of the Wild Hunt.</p><p>As he saw the teal flashes of her progress towards the Naglfar and Caranthir, he had no doubts about her abilities or even her rate of success. He knew what Caranthir could do, and he knew that Caranthir had better training and more experience than her. Despite this, Avallac’h was certain that Caranthir would lose to Cirilla’s blade simply because she was human. In relation to humans, the Aen Elle considered themselves much more learned, able and patient, and thus did not put much stock in the abilities of <em>dh’oine</em> or their level of mastering combat or magic. Caranthir would lose because he thought Cirilla was inferior to him, and his pride would lead him to underestimate her, and magic would fail the Hunt when it happened.</p><p>He felt a rueful smile twist his lips. Despite his certainty of Cirilla’s winning the fight, he was uneasy at the thought that there might be a risk of her losing. He took a deep breath, unable to stop himself from imagining her getting hurt. Caranthir would not be opposed to damaging his charge should he win and having Ciri trussed up and beaten within an inch of her life would not be below him. The sorceresses held their own with the magic barrier to keep the Naglfar from escaping into the frosted void, but they would be no match for Caranthir and his retinue of Aen Elle sorcerers. If the threat of Cirilla was removed, Caranthir would dispose of the barrier and teleport the Aen Elle away, taking Ciri with him to his home world.<br/><br/>He hoisted himself to the top of the cliff to get a better view of the battle scene and shaded his eyes as he looked for her. Snow drifted slowly inside the orb of the barrier, reminding him of an artefact he and Ciri had seen once in one of the more curious worlds they had sought refuge in.</p><p>If Cirilla was caught, he knew that she would be brave in the face of danger, even to the point where she would ramp up her spiteful nature to cross Eredin. Avallac’h also knew that Eredin would punish her accordingly and humiliate her for it. Deep down Ciri might admit to her fear of Eredin, but really the problem was that Eredin knew it, too, and he would be immensely adept at using it against her. Avallac’h disliked thinking of what Eredin would do if he ever got his hands on Ciri.</p><p>Eredin might eventually accomplish the same goal as Avallac’h had set out to do, but it would be at the cost of Ciri and her spirit, a thought that had become entirely unacceptable to him.</p><p>He did not want to lose her, and he felt at once angry and powerless to affect the outcome of the battlefield below. Ciri was to meet him north of the abandoned village on the road to Tor Gvalch’ca when she returned, but he could not pull himself away from the cliffs to wander to their meeting point, only to wait in ignorance of her fate.</p><p>He should not have let her go. Maybe he should have tied her up and teleported her away, even though he had told Geralt that that would be impossible. He smiled to himself, thinking of the times Ciri had shouted at him how obnoxiously high-handed he was. If he had been high-handed this time, she might not forgive him, but at least she would not be risking herself in this battle that only served to be a distraction from the goal of opening the portal atop the tower.</p><p>Caranthir’s spell had blanketed the battlefield with a silence like the one that came after snowfall. If Avallac’h closed his eyes he could almost feel the serenity of undisturbed nature and the lapping of waves on the coast.<br/>A sucking sound of surging energy within the barrier tore Avallac’h from his thoughts. It was immediately followed by the clash of battle; metal on metal and thousands of voices screaming and shouting commands. Cirilla must have succeeded.<br/>Avallac’h held his breath, not knowing if she would find him on the cliff, or if she had been hurt during the fight and disabled. He pulled out his spyglass to look for her. Instead he found Geralt bursting from his own capsule of ice, quickly moving to jump into a crevice in the ice, his blade drawn. A moment later he caught a glimpse of the tell-tale flash of Cirilla’s teleportation energy near where Geralt had disappeared and gave silent thanks to the witcher for his unwavering diligence. He lowered the spyglass to look for signs of her across the battlefield.</p><p>Avallac’h had expected Ciri to appear shortly, but instead minutes passed, and fear, that had begun as a soft tingling on his neck, turned into a great hand that was squeezing his insides. He peered into the spyglass once more and saw Geralt bury his sword, almost to hilt, in Caranthir’s torso. As the latter slowly fell to the icy ground, Avallac’h felt at once both saddened and heartened to see Caranthir fall, even as the witcher spitefully twisted his blade in Avallac’h’s former protégé.<br/>The spectacle turned ridiculous when Geralt realized he could not wrench his sword from Caranthir. When Avallac’h realized that Caranthir was not quite dead and still moving, he felt a coldness drip down his spine.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Instinctively, Avallac’h took a step forward, his hand reaching out, and then both Witcher and elf were gone. His heart sank to think where Caranthir had taken the witcher in the last of his moments, while Avallac’h himself was unable to give any aid. He suddenly realized that this might spell the end of all their efforts if Geralt had been killed and Cirilla found out.</p><p>Avallac’h remembered her recent existence-shattering reaction when Imlerith had viciously murdered Vesemir before her very eyes. Imlerith might have retrospectively acknowledged that that was an idiotic move and that it would naturally push Zireael over the edge into an emotional abyss. Avallac’h would daresay that Imlerith’s impulse to torment and punish her for the losses she had caused within the ranks of the Wild Hunt was impossible to refuse. Avallac’h uttered a resigned sigh. Imlerith had always been a hot-headed fool.</p><p>Avallac’h grew infinitely tired at the thought of the apocalyptic scale that Cirilla’s inner turmoil would reach if she unleashed her chaotic sorrow at the loss of another witcher and father-figure. Avallac’h was not sure that even <em>he</em> had the abilities to redirect a surge of energy as massive as the one she might discharge if she learned of Geralt’s death.</p><p>He realised he was wallowing in emotion and fear, but when the flash came, and Ciri stumbled and fell onto the ice-capped rock behind him, he could not help feeling completely livid. He turned around, stalked to her side, and hoisted her up by the arm.</p><p>“Ow!”</p><p>Avallac’h stared hard into her eyes, his aquamarine glare bearing into her startling greens.</p><p>“You swore to me that you would stay on shore,” his voice was calm, but she clearly sensed the anger underneath.</p><p>“You know I had to go – I had to help them!” she protested.</p><p>“Is your word worth nothing?! Must you always make small choices at the cost of greater purposes? Is it not enough to be such a slave to your emotions that only your small world counts against lives of <em>billions</em>?”</p><p>He knew his words were stinging her, and he knew that he was mad at her for bringing the same weakness into his own life that he was scolding her for, but he could not help himself. She straightened up, and jerked herself from his grasp, her face turning into a haughty mask. She stared him down in silence, her brilliant green eyes reciprocating the ice he was exhibiting in his own.</p><p>“You <em>knew</em> I was going to go after Caranthir!” Her voice expressed outraged disbelief. “And I must say, I didn’t quite catch any of your protests on the pier!”</p><p>His breathing had quickened with the flaring of his anger, and he stubbornly held her defiant gaze with his own. He noted how she had put her hands on her hips and shot out her chin. She was squaring her body the way she liked to do when she wanted to scare people away or dare them to initiate a fight. He realized that she was trying to push him away, and that he was doing the same. He sighed in defeat, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.</p><p>“We have to go.”</p><p>Avallac’h turned from her and descended the cliff to walk towards Tor Gvalch’ca. He could hear the fighting going on, the creaking of wood breaking against ice. Not far from the coast, he could hear the growls of the hounds.</p><p>When he reached the path below the cliffs, he noticed he was alone. Zireael was still standing on the cliff, her back to him, surveying the fight below.</p><p>“Cirilla. Please,” He did not raise his voice.</p><p>In moments she was beside him om the path.</p><p>“We could just teleport, I broke Caranthir’s staff, it shouldn’t-“</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Why was he being like this? She did not even finish Caranthir off, and she came back straight after shattering the magic orb on top of Caranthir’s staff. Disbelief was still lingering on her face as she huffed and started walking.</p><p>Both were silent and lost in thought, and soon they climbed the path from the main island of Undvik to follow the narrow path atop the cliffs that led to the tower.</p><p>Ciri was entirely uncomfortable, and during the silent walk not even the sounds of the battle could distract her from the anger she felt. She spied a glance at Avallac’h’s face below his hood; his brow was slightly furrowed, and his gaze indicated that he was occupied by whatever he was thinking about.</p><p>“I guess you’re happy that it’s almost over. Soon I’ll have to face the White Frost, and then you won’t have to deal with me anymore.”</p><p>He stopped abruptly, his eyes wide and his brows raised. She was daring him to contradict her. Even now she doubted whether he had any care for her at all.</p><p>“That is not true. Why would you think that?”</p><p>His eyes searched her face, but she would not look at him.</p><p>“Ciri,” Avallac’h said as he reached for her arm, but she pushed it aside.</p><p>“You don’t have to pretend,” she murmured.</p><p>In truth, her anger would have been easier to handle than the hurt and disappointment written on her face.</p><p>“I heard what she said-“</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>“I know now that you never really cared about me, or.. or wanted me. Just my blood and its potential.”</p><p>“You know so much, do you?” Avallac’h’s anger flared at her words. “You know exactly how I feel based on the words of a jealous lover? You-“</p><p>“A-ha!”</p><p>“A-ha, what?” His voice almost sounded thunderous compared with his normal soft cadence. “I have not seen Vaneidd for years! Instead I have chosen to trail along behind you, throwing myself, my efforts, my entire renown into helping you! I gave up everything-!“</p><p>Avallac’h abruptly shut his mouth and relapsed into silence, rubbing a hand over his face and trying to calm himself down.</p><p>“Now is not the time, Zireael,” he said monotonously and resumed walking.</p><p>All fowl, of both animal and monster varieties, had vacated the cliffs they were traversing, fearful of the battle below. The sky was darkening with heavy clouds on account of the magical energy that had converged and concentrated below it, and only the light of the fires below created colour in the gloom.</p><p>Avallac’h reached the stairs leading up into the balcony of the old elven ruin and went up. Ciri stayed behind as she watched him ascend. She had always wanted to survive, ever since she left Cintra as a child. It was the only thing she ever knew she always wanted, no matter who she had loved and lost along the way. Her time with Avallac’h had stirred up her feelings, and she had thought she might want him instead of merely needing his help, but the last couple of days had so easily made her unsure of him.</p><p>Meeting the she-elf had shook her, and it had maddened Ciri to be reminded of the Aen Elle’s sentiment towards humans. It had doubly hurt her, that the she-elf had told Ciri she was only a task comprised of mere patriotic duty to Avallac’h. When Avallac’h brought Ge’els to The Chameleon and the latter had reminded her of Avallac’h’s methods in Tir Ná Lia, she had brushed it aside without a second thought. Why did that unknown she-elf’s words carry more weight than the scheming Aen Elle viceroy? Perhaps it was that Avallac’h had never deigned to mention her, or maybe Ciri took offence at how the she-elf looked so at home in what was clearly Avallac’h’s bedroom.</p><p>And then there was his reaction when she got back to the cliff after her fight with Caranthir. Ciri had known him to react with anger, but as they had travelled together, he had become less explosive. <em>He was worried about me</em>, she realised.</p><p>“Zireael. Ciri, come.”</p><p>Ciri climbed the steps, only vaguely registering the noises of the battle that suddenly seemed very far away.<br/>When she climbed to the top, Avallac’h was looking out over the vista of carnage far below. The black sails of Nilfgaard were in flames, the bay was filled with debris and shipwrecks, while the wind carried intermittent sounds of singing swords and roars of both men and elves. She walked over to stand beside him.</p><p>“I will answer any questions you might have regarding Vaneidd once you come back. I also apologise for losing my temper earlier, it was inappropriate and unnecessary. Forgive me.”</p><p>She did not look at him but stared ahead, considering his words.</p><p>“Mhm,” she muttered. “I just wish you would stop acting like it’s such a burden for you to care about me.” The was a tremor in her whisper. “Maybe, if you feel otherwise, you should express it to me in no uncertain terms.”</p><p>He looked up at her, her posture tense and rigid with her arms protectively hugging her middle. He had stopped comparing her to Lara Dorren, but sometimes she was just so young and so emotional and so infuriatingly human that he sometimes longed for the level-headedness of elves. It had been easier when he was just a mentor instead of whatever he was to her now. When she was vulnerable like this, he felt torn between keeping a respectful distance and removing the source of her worry. From centuries of practice, he was used to smothering the part of himself that was soft, and even though he knew that that part had grown steadily while knowing Ciri, something in him kept it down. Even now, as he saw her wanting and needing comfort, he did not know how to proceed.</p><p>They had not had much time together since they began scouring the Continent for the witcher and his sorceress, what with dealing with narrow escapes, curses, sieges and battle preparations. The bubble they had inhabited, while formerly fleeing the Hunt, had burst, and now they were not just the two of them anymore, but also adoptive parents, friends and even more people who pretended friendships with not-so-hidden agendas.</p><p>He did not know his role in her life now; he had been her protector and mentor, a role he had known for centuries among the Aen Elle, and he knew it well. When Avallac’h had at first sought out Cirilla he had done so for the sake of his people. Upon meeting her, he had done his best to stomach her insolence and her unchecked childish anger with varying results. Slowly they had patched together a tentative bond of trust. The bond had evolved and turned out to be much less patchy and tentative than he had expected.</p><p>Before he found her, he was certain their relationship would be strenuous and frail, and that he would spend much time trying to control his own anger at her to avoid scaring her away. His expectation of their companionship had become a blind spot rooted in past misconceptions he held of her, which went a long way to explain how they had suddenly passed a threshold he was certain he had thought so entirely beneath him. Because of this, he had never even considered the possibility of emotional entanglement, much less entanglement of the physical variety.</p><p>He had deceived himself when he thought his emotions towards Ciri had been caused by a magnification of his incremental and fervorous devotion to the protection and cultivation of the Elder Blood-gene. He had had to admit to himself that he felt differently and that he had been feeling differently for a while.</p><p>He felt uncertain of how to be part of her life now and even more so after Ciri would battle the White Frost. It would be different than before; it would not be about survival and catching the moments of relief in between, but rather something else. Returning to his own life as it had been among the Aen Elle now gave him pause. Still, he was not sure that he wanted for the end of their journey to also mark the end for the two of them.</p><p>“It’s not a burden,” Avallac’h murmured. “Not anymore.”</p><p>He was momentarily taken by surprise as Ciri pounded her closed fist into his chest with a subdued shriek. He adeptly caught the second fist as she was throwing it and held them out in front of him as she tried to reach for him again. Ciri took one look at Avallac’h’s impassive face and noticed the sadness in his eyes, and all her will to fight evaporated. She felt angry tears sting her eyes and she twisted her mouth into a grimace of defeat.</p><p>“Leave, then, if it’s so unbearable. I’m just a stupid dh’oine, a cheap imitation of your long-lost love! Leave me, if you can barely stand me.”</p><p>Avallac’h’s insides clenched at her words and his grip slackened slightly as he ducked under her raised arms to get closer to her.</p><p>“Vaneidd was never important compared to you. Even less so now,” he said calmly.</p><p>Ciri looked up into his eyes, his face was so close she could feel his breath on her chin. When she did not react or protest the intimacy, he slowly bent his head towards her, seeking her lips with his own. She melted into the kiss with the ghost of a whimper, and as her arms came down, he hugged her lithe form to his chest and deepened the kiss. One hand slid over his back and pulled him closer, while the other brushed the skin of his neck on the way to settling at the nape. Ciri moaned softly in her throat, and he loved the sound of it. She tilted her pelvis against him, and he uttered a grunt of pleasure in reply. His body was in full denial of emotional trepidations or cultural barriers and wanted only to join with Ciri’s as it had done before.</p><p>Instead he gently untangled her fingers in his hair and pulled away, despite knowing that this might be the last time he ever touched her.</p><p>“We cannot tarry any longer, Ciri. Their sacrifice will be wasted if we do not open the portal now.”</p><p>She sighed as she replied, “There’s always going to be something more important, isn’t there?”</p><p>The sadness in her voice was unmistakable, and Avallac’h had a creeping feeling of unease at the back of his neck but smothered it. She was waiting for him to say something, but when he did not, she smiled sadly.</p><p>“Let’s go.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2 - Home, Sweet Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alrighty! Sorry about the wait, but I started writing the first 2 chapters and then I felt like I simply had to reread all the Witcher books before writing more chapters. Incidentally, this chapter was done around the same time as I uploaded the first chapter, but I wanted to be sure I wouldn't be clashing with any canon. You will probably not have to wait as long for chapter 3! Please enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter 2 – Home, sweet home</h1><p>“Stand back, please,” Avallac’h said.</p><p>He had positioned himself in the middle of the broken tower, sensing the immense magical Force that filled every particle of Tor Gvalch’ca. He closed his eyes and concentrated on getting attuned to the tumultuous energy around him and how it moved. At first, he felt the chaos of its movement as if the Force was rushing haphazardly around an invisible confine within the tower, but soon he became attuned to its pattern of movement. Avallac’h slowly and consciously let his own spirit flow and sway with the surging river of energy without trying to control or obstruct the flow. He was careful of entirely becoming one with the energy, lest he wanted to hollow out his own essence when performing the spell for opening the tower or perhaps getting swept away by the forcefulness of the river.</p><p>He planted his feet more firmly on the flagstones and centred himself physically and energetically before he swept his hands towards the dark grey heavens. His voice seems somehow enhanced; it was more deep and thunderous as he commanded the Force.</p><p>“Aen’drean, Aevon y Evellienn!” <em>Enter, River of All.</em></p><p>Energy rushed from the earth through his feet and upwards through his body, shooting through the tips of his crown and fingers. With a measured set of gestures, Avallac’h created a sphere of protection that enveloped the entire tower.</p><p>Ciri was struck once more by his power and his ability to master Force. She understood why he had been so rigorous in his teachings. She found herself admiring how he could balance both his compliancy to the Force as well as being able to channel it for his own needs. He was at once both humble and magnificent, and she felt herself drawn to him. She bit her lip and turned away towards the silvery barrier at the edge of the northernmost cliff.</p><p>When he opened the tower, he would force worlds and dimensions to come into contact, and it would allow for both the good and the bad of other worlds to pass through to Ciri and himself. Considering what they were to undertake, he thought it best to powerfully secure themselves against interference. Once he was sure that the barrier would hold, he let the rush of energy become a small continuous stream. Rushing into the spell was unwise, and he needed to be filled with the blessing of the Force, rather than greedily hoarding its power.</p><p>“Cirilla, ready yourself.”</p><p>Avallac’h looked over at her but quickly averted his gaze. With this much Force accumulating within him, a break in concentration and energetic balance could at best mean a breaking of connection with the River, and he would have to start over. Worst case scenario could mean a breaking of himself, whereupon the Force would snap back like a rubber band with an explosion that could burst both Ciri and the tower.<br/>
Their pursuit and what would result from it far outweighed the needs of his confused feelings towards her, and taking stock could happen at a later time.</p><p>Avallac’h uttered words in Ellylon as he wove a series of smooth and purposive gestures with hands. It was a dance to honour the gifts of the Force and ask for its compliance and aid in his endeavour. A white-tinted candescence emanated from Avallac’h, and as he raised his hand, the light folded and split into criss-crossing ribbons in the shape of several spheres within each other.</p><p>Ciri looked on as energy rushed into the multiple spheres around him, sucking all noise along with it. Ciri felt certain she had gone deaf for a moment before the portal opened with a roar as its energy shot into the sky. She was used to the tingling feeling of her own inherent power, but when the portal gaped at her, her skin did not just crawl as she had felt before. Her limbs were buzzing with a horrible restlessness; she felt like she was constantly on the threshold of teleportation, the point where it felt like she was about to dissolve.</p><p>Ciri’s thoughts were averted by the sudden cacophony of forktails, basilisks, erynia, harpies and wyverns streaming overhead. Ciri tensed her muscles and was about the pull out her sword, but the flying monsters were quickly and desperately dispersing as flaming projectiles fell from above, seemingly out of nowhere. Avallac’h was succeeding in prying open the portal! She was both excited and terrified: her time to fight as had been prophesised was nigh.</p><p>Avallac’h felt the completion and stability of his spell as he heard the grating of a sword in a scabbard behind him. He had felt a small disturbance in the barrier moments before, but the work of opening the portal could not be broken off. At least he was now certain that Geralt had survived his fight with Caranthir, but Avallac’h had not particularly wanted the Witcher to be around for this: He believed that Ciri wanted to go through the portal of her own volition, but he feared what the Witcher might say that could make her renege. <em>No matter</em>, Avallac’h thought, <em>there was always a chance that he would show up</em>.</p><p>As Geralt climbed the steps to the Tower of the Falcon, his medallion tugged even more wildly at its chain and the weight of it became hard to bear. When he reached the top, he found that treacherous, two-faced prick of an elf waving about with his back turned; maybe he had already forced Ciri into the portal!</p><p>“Geralt… So unfortunate. “ Avallac’h turned as he continued, “I’d hoped you wouldn’t have to witness this.”</p><p>“Where’s Ciri?” Geralt said, taking a step closer.</p><p>“Nearby. Listen-”</p><p>“Shut up,” Geralt said venomously as he raised his sword. “I’ve heard enough of your bullshit. Draw your weapon, let’s get this over with.”</p><p>Avallac’h heaved an internal sigh. He had no intention of fighting Geralt, and what was more, he did not want to. Avallac’h looked intently into the eyes of the Witcher as he drew his sword. He shook his head slowly and threw the sword away from him, defiantly refusing to fight Geralt.</p><p>The sound of exploding from the falling meteors combined with the roaring portal filled the Witcher’s ears as he took a derisive glance at Avallac’h’s abandoned sword. Before the battle, Geralt had tried not to become blinded by the professed intentions of the elf, and now that his fears had been confirmed, he was not about to fall into more of Avallac’h’s horse shit.</p><p>“Think I’m gonna’ fall for that? No chance, you’re wrong. Trusted you once. Won’t make that mistake again,” Geralt growled.</p><p>“I am not your foe,” Avallac’h tried to placate the Witcher. “I am merely helping Cirilla.”</p><p>“I don’t believe you. Can’t. Not after all that’s happened.”</p><p>“Will you believe me?” Ciri stepped out in front of the portal to stop Geralt from what he was clearly intending. Geralt immediately sheathed his sword as he saw her walk towards him.</p><p>“Avallac’h speaks the truth. I asked him to help me open the tower – because I aim to enter it,” Ciri continued.</p><p>“Didn’t think it worthwhile to tell me, warn me of your plans?” Geralt threw out his hands in exasperation.</p><p>Ciri looked away, considering.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I know, I should have… but I feared you’d not understand.”</p><p>Geralt rubbed a hand over his face and sighed heavily.</p><p>“Feels like I’m talking to Yennefer,” he said, half to himself. “Leave with me, please.”</p><p>“I will Geralt, once I emerge from the tower,” she said, and quietly added, “If I emerge.”</p><p>“I couldn’t care less about the White Frost. Let’s just leave, go.”</p><p>Ciri walked to the steps that Geralt had climbed and looked out to the falling snow beyond the shimmering barrier.</p><p>“No, Geralt. I’ve seen what is to come, I know destruction approaches. The worlds will freeze, one after the other, and all life will be eradicated.”</p><p>Ciri turned abruptly with fire in her eyes.</p><p>“Only I can prevent this from happening,” she said with definite certainty.</p><p>“There’s gotta be another way…”</p><p>She approached him with a sad smile.</p><p>“What can you know about saving the world, silly? You’re but a witcher,” Ciri said consolingly. “This is my story, not yours. You must let me finish telling it.”</p><p>She passed him and walked towards the portal, steeling herself for what was to come. As Ciri came near to the portal, Geralt quietly muttered “Good luck, Ciri.”</p><p>Ciri faltered in her steps and stopped, her back to both Geralt and Avallac’h, and hung her head.</p><p>“Perhaps I should have told you. I see now you might have understood,” she said as she turned around.</p><p>“Know you better than you think. Don’t keep me waiting.”</p><p>She gave him a small smile as she climbed the steps to the rushing portal. Ciri was silhouetted against the white glare of the portal, as white light flashed across the court. She stopped and turned to take one last look at Geralt and a furtive one at Avallac’h before she stepped inside and was gone in a sonorous flash.</p><p>They were both looking towards the point where she had disappeared. Avallac’h stared, unblinking, into the void, his retina recalling her shape in the illusion that she might still be here in this world. He knew the portal would soon have to be closed, and he felt restless knowing he could not be certain whether she would succeed or not.</p><p>He let go his magical grip on the portal, and it collapsed with a foreboding crash and a gush of fog. The protective sphere broke like glass and drifted down in soft motes of dust all around them, echoing the ultimate silence and passivity they both felt inside. She was gone, and perhaps for ever.<br/>
Avallac’h took a deep breath and moved towards the steps, unable to bear the silence and the feeling of finality.</p><p>“Do you think she’ll make it?”</p><p>The elf stopped.</p><p>“If anyone can, it would be Cirilla. She simply must, or it won’t matter,” Avallac’h replied.</p><p>“Why the hell couldn’t you have been honest about this? I trust her, but you… You didn’t have to infect her with your need for secrecy.”</p><p>Avallac’h turned around to face him.</p><p>“I assume you defeated Eredin. Had you not, he might’ve been the one standing here instead of you, and thus I am grateful to you for disposing of him. However, do you really suppose your endeavour would have been more successful had you known what she was planning? If you had known what Cirilla had planned to do, would you have stayed to fight Eredin?”</p><p>“Perhaps not. Being next in line for the role of king, I bet you’re pretty satisfied that we eradicated all of your competition?”</p><p>Geralt was trying to provoke him, but Avallac’h merely smiled.</p><p>“Don’t presume to know what I want.”</p><p>“That is my point, exactly. My wants are simple, as you’re all wont to tell me, and I’ve grown tired of trying to figure out all your bullshit. If you need to make everything as complicated as possible, be my guest, but because of <em>you</em>, all I have left of her is a short statement of intention.”</p><p>A building anger emanated from Geralt as he crossed his arms and looked hard at Avallac’h.</p><p>“You forget Cirilla is her own creature,” Avallac’h’s voice was soft, admiring even.</p><p>Geralt raised his brows infinitesimally. He had joked, when he had asked Ciri at Avallac’h’s lab whether she thought the elf was only interested in her for her abilities – something she had awkwardly brushed off – but suddenly a few pieces were falling into place.</p><p>“She’s not Lara Dorren,” Geralt said scorchingly.</p><p>A wry smile twisted Avallac’h’s lips as he looked at the Witcher. He crossed his arms over his chest and scoffed.</p><p>“As I said, don’t presume to know what I want.”</p><p>Geralt watched the elf turn his back on him and slowly walk away. The Witcher had been wondering what had made Ciri trust Avallac’h with such fervour that she would snub the wedge Ge’els had tried to plant between them with his words, and yet her reaction to the she-elf at Avallac’h’s laboratory had shook her terribly. Ciri could be with whomever she wanted, but he was surprised and slightly wary at the thought of her maybe choosing this specific elf.</p><p>Avallac’h had refused to explain his feelings to Geralt, refusing that the words of the she-elf had had any bearing on how Avallac’h truly felt concerning his helping Ciri. Maybe Avallac’h’s feelings had gone a long way to help support and protect Ciri from both the Hunt and the innate racism of his own culture.</p><p>Geralt took a long last look at the dark archway that Ciri had passed through moments before. Whatever had happened between Ciri and Avallac’h, Geralt adamantly hoped that Ciri was ready to bear and survive what she had undertaken to do.</p><p>***</p><p>Avallac’h had walked down the path from <em>Tor Gvalch’ca</em> unable to decide whether to return to Tir Ná Lia immediately, or to take respite at his laboratory at the Pali Gap Coast north of Undvik. He needed to collect his thoughts and meter out a course of action for handling the political vacuum that was left as a result of Eredin’s death. However, he found himself highly distracted by his emotions that were churning loudly like rocks in a barrel and considered that he would need to sort them out before going back.</p><p>The darkness stretched across the night sky and the clouds looked dark and heavy with rain. The termination of magic barriers and the removal of physical threats had brought a strangely serene silence to the cliffs. As Avallac’h descended and came near the abandoned village, the silence was broken by the shrieks and roars of draconids and elementals. The ground was riddled with glowing craters beneath rivulets of black smoke.</p><p>He heaved a small sigh. The tasks of both political and emotional turmoil seemed overwhelming and insurmountable and thus he opened a portal to the solitude and silence of his laboratory.</p><p>He arrived to find his golem in a wasted heap outside the entrance and sighed deeply. <em>Perhaps this was a mistake</em>, he thought to himself as he walked inside. The anteroom looked as it did when he left it, but he soon realized that Cirilla and her company had taken their ruffling of his belongings a bit further than he had expected. Papers were scattered across the floor along with the debris of furniture and candlesticks extinguished by the fall of candelabras. To make matters worse, Vaneidd sat huddled among it, trying to clear up the clutter.</p><p>“Vaneidd.” It was statement.</p><p>She twitched in surprise and quickly got up; her arms were laden with documents.</p><p>“Avallac’h! Did she do it? Did you send her off? Did Eredin…?” She trailed off, looking at him.</p><p>“She is gone. Eredin has been taken out. Hopefully Cirilla will succeed and the White Frost will soon withdraw from our world.”</p><p>“Good. Thank the gods, it will finally be over,” Vaneidd gestured apologetically at the clutter; “Her and that wretched <em>vatt’ghern</em> of hers made quite a mess when they couldn’t deal with the truth.”</p><p>He looked around and his gaze slipped over the portrait on the wall. Avallac’h had to do a double take: his portrait had been vandalized with a black beard, and, in spite of himself, he uttered a surprised snort. Vaneidd followed his gaze to the portrait.</p><p>“Incredible, the insolence of humans! You’ve done nothing except try to help her, no matter her folly, and this is how she repays you?”</p><p>Vaneidd was clearly offended on his behalf, but at the moment Avallac’h did not have it in him to care about the rubble.</p><p>“Why are you here? When last we spoke, I recall you offering me ultimatums and reacting… ungracefully at my reply,” Avallac’h said.</p><p>“After you left me here, Caranthir kept me appraised of your whereabouts when you were out cavorting with the half-breed. I thought you must have long since had your fill of the <em>dh’oine</em>, having to throw your efforts into helping her time and time again. I thought that you’d come to your senses and come back to your people and to me. When you didn’t, I realized the true extent of your patriotism. I even admired how well you could put your ideals into action, and I thought that when you came back…” She trailed off.</p><p>“When I came back?” He prompted.</p><p>“When you came back from your task you would need to feel at home. You would need care given to you by your own. You would need to acclimatise and return to us, return to normal, and I wanted to help you.”</p><p><em>Normal is long gone, I fear</em>.</p><p>“How nice of you to give me a second chance,” Avallac’h said in a deliberately neutral tone.</p><p>She came closer to him and put her hand on his chest. When he did not brush her hands away, she proceeded to unclip his broach and gently pulled off his cloak. She stroked him down the length of his arm and proceeded to take his hand into both of hers. She pulled off one glove, stroking the back of his hand with a manicured thumb. She held his hand is hers, turning it over, palm facing up, and gently massaged his hand. She looked up into his eyes, perhaps seeking permission; either way, she lifted his palm to her full lips and placed a kiss in the middle and then gently made her way to his wrist.</p><p>He had quite frankly forgotten how it felt being touched with that kind of intimacy, what with all that had been going on recently. He had cared for Vaneidd once and enjoyed her company many times, but it felt very long ago now. Her lips were soft and tingling on his skin and he could not stop himself from remembering other soft parts of her; the rounding of her hips, the curve of a breast, the smoothness of her cheek intersected with a scar…</p><p>His eyes snapped open as his mind’s eye presented him with green eyes smiling behind a veil of ashen hair. Vaneidd had apparently taken no notice but had instead put his hand softly against her cheek and drawn it down to rest on her neck. Sighing, she had put her arms around him, resting her head against his shoulder.</p><p>“I knew you’d see sense, that you would be mine once more. I knew you could never be serious about that ugly degenerate.”</p><p>Avallac’h stiffened. His body wanted the intimacy, he even felt longing. Vaneidd was right about him needing home and what was thereby known and recognisable to him. Her caresses were something he knew, and it was reminiscent of something that had once felt safe and right between them. But it was not what he wanted anymore, not what he had wanted in a long time; he wanted something else.</p><p>Vaneidd had pulled his tabard and shirt down at the neck and had begun placing soft kisses on his skin, but he gently pushed her away from him.</p><p>“Stop. I have to ask you to leave,” he said firmly.</p><p>She straightened and searched his face, her own features turning nasty and pitying.</p><p>“Oh, come now, Avallac’h, you cannot be serious. Has it truly befallen Crevan Espane aep Caomhan Macha, a great <em>Aen Savherne</em> of the Aen Elle, to fall for an undeserving and, quite honestly, disgusting <em>dh’oine</em>?” Her words dripped with derision.</p><p>“Enough with your hateful words,” he said forcefully as he leaned forward, forcing Vaneidd to take a step back.</p><p>“<em>My</em> hateful words? My words?! I learned them from <em>you</em>! Or have you forgotten?”</p><p>Her normally pleasing elfin features had transformed with anger. He <em>had</em> forgotten, or rather chosen to. Against his better judgment, Ciri had opened his eyes, and he had even met a few humans who vindicated their race. He had been surprised to find himself spending time in what he considered somewhat competent company, and he had found evidence that the racist superiority of the Aen Elle was perhaps not entirely justified.</p><p>“No. I haven’t. Ciri isn’t-…” He took a deep breath. “I don’t have to justify myself to you. I don’t owe it to you to explain myself or my actions. And I don’t have to listen to your abuse, either.”</p><p>She opened her mouth to retort but stopped herself and looked away instead.</p><p>“You really like her, don’t you?” She sounded sad.</p><p>He was silent, and his gaze flicked down to the floor and stayed there. A moment or two passed before his pale eyes looked determinedly into hers.</p><p>“Yes. Now leave me.”</p><p>He turned his back on her and put his hands on the table before the great wall painting of the genealogical tree that began with Lara Dorren aep Shiadhal and ended with Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon. At the time, when he had painted her name onto the tree, she had been an opportunity to him; a mere tool to make sure that his people would survive and would be repaid what they were owed by humans. He closed his eyes and bowed his head, remembering. Since then, she had become increasingly more real and solid, not just as a mean to an end, but someone palpable, someone he could touch and feel. Someone he longed to touch and feel.</p><p>“What if she dies?”</p><p><em>She’s still here!</em> He thought with exasperation, and quickly whirled around.</p><p>“Then I’d still not be with you!” He shouted angrily.</p><p>Her face fell, her hurt was visible. He immediately regretted being so harsh; Vaneidd was finally realising the sinking status of their relationship, and he sympathised with her. He wanted her to leave and to be alone, and she was apparently not taking neither hints nor direct orders. At present, he felt that there was no other course, except dropping her outside with a portal, and he felt that such actions were uncouth and unbecoming.</p><p>Vaneidd had begun gathering her belongings in a slightly aggressive manner, tears running down her face. She started walking towards the exit, but suddenly stopped.</p><p>“<em>Ysgarthiad</em>! Now what?!” She asked.</p><p>She was Aen Elle and did not belong to this world anymore, but she did not have anywhere to go. He would have to lead her back to Tir Ná Lia since Caranthir was dead. He rubbed his fingers over his mouth as he thought.</p><p>“You can go to Vizima or Pont Vanis but stay out of Redania. Non-humans are not welcomed there. I will make sure you’ll soon return to the Aen Elle. Goodbye.”</p><p>He sat down in a chair with his back to her.</p><p>“Me a’beath aep arse, Avallac’h!” <em>Kiss my ass, Avallac’h!</em></p><p>“Don’t count on it.”</p>
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